A prayer for Zander.

Heavenly Father, watch with us over your child Zander, and grant that he may be restored to that perfect health which it is yours alone to give; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

First time for everything.

Breathe. Just breathe.

And pray.

w00000t!

Good news! Not going blind!

They're sending me off to the neurologist though to make sure my brain still works.

[Insert insult from Audrey here LoL]

Going blind sucks

When you're 12 years old and the doctor tells you, "You'll be blind by age 19," it's kind of a tricky situation. I wasn't panicked or scared. I have had stingy drops, soothing drops, and an endless supply of tobradex, and even been put on some stupid pill medication for five years to ease whatever what was going on in my eyes. I almost went blind from something stupid when I was 5. So... 19 was my deadline. Whatever, no big deal. I was okay with it.

I'm 24 now and a walking miracle, because as anyone who knows me can tell... I can still see. Not as well as other people, but I can see. I can drive, play video games, draw, and do art. I can look up at the sky at night and see almost all the same stars other people can. I can play sports and catch a baseball in the sun if I'm wearing shades. I got cocky. I like knowing that I'm special; I beat the odds. I stumped the doctors. Why have I not gone blind? Even they don't know. It just... stopped. I'm not blind and as far as I can tell, I'm not going blind anymore.

And tonight I woke up from a small nap. Turned on the light. Put on my glasses. And I couldn't see. Everything was blurry. My left eye, the dominant one, couldn't focus. My right eye is useless with or without glasses/contacts. So imagine waking up with a lifetime of near-misses with blindness and not being able to see. Thank God Jeremy was online to calm me down. What an amazing man. Gonna call the Army doctor. I'm still wary about seeing an eye doctor outside my comfort zone. Before I came here, I had three docs looking after me since I was a child: Dr. Smith (my favorite), Dr. Kelly (2nd fave), and Dr. Sugar (who is a real jerk with no bedside manner, but a genius nonetheless). I'm a wimp. I'm scared of going to a new doctor and having them gasp at the hideous scarring on my corneas.

I know I'll be fine. I have faith. I am, after all, a walking miracle. Gleefully stumped doctors across the Chicagoland area. Though, if worse comes to worse...

Going blind sucks.

A Memory

"As I walked down the aisle on the most important day of my life, I was only vaguely aware that I had captivated everyone's undying attention... simply because on the afternoon of my wedding, I had eyes for no one but him."

"Marriage Is" by Missi Ynayan Singer

"Marriage Is" ~ a short poem by a newlywed.

Marriage is...
charming
rewarding
exasperating
sometimes teasing
always loving

Life with & without Jeremy:
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think it's true in its own unique way. My husband is on what some people call a year-long business trip. I didn't dread deployment; I am not as heartless as that may sound. The way I saw it, his departure was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. So the best I could do was to live, I mean really live. And because of this take-charge kind of living, I was able to enjoy every moment he was here, even when things weren't so perfect. It was amazing how life seemed to slow down for me. I am truly thankful to God for this amazing man.

I can't say too much has changed. I now have far too many leftovers, less garbage, and I tend to let small messes slide more often. Jeremy's habit of skipping salad and eating cold pizza has really rubbed off on me. =) Day to day life has changed. I keep my own schedule, and do some volunteering for the FMWR. I am also trying to keep up with my freelance work, though I haven't had much business in the past month.

One thing has, and always will, remained the same: Jeremy. No matter where we move to, or how far apart or close we are to each other, I will always have him by my side. It sounds strange to say since he's seemingly so far away. However, he is the kind of man who makes me feel like he's right next to me each and every day. I find that I don't "expect" to receive an email from him every day. He is, after all, a hardworking man. I am honestly always so pleasantly surprised when he hops onto instant messenger or sends an email my way. It feels good. I smile when I hear that ding! I programmed my messenger to make when he does come online. Nothing during my day makes a sweeter sound than that.

Jeremy is truly the constant of life.

~m♥

Thank God for this. =)

I love how his presence still lingers throughout the house. His favorite jeans are still sprawled lazily across the bedroom dresser. His body wash is waiting patiently in the shower. I purposefully left his shaving cream and deodorant on his sink, despite my usual habit of stuffing them away in the cabinet just after he uses them. I left his side of the sofa cover in that annoyingly wrinkled fashion, from when he always manages to squirm about in a relentlessly adorable way. And the Nestle mix is still sitting on the dining room table, waiting to be abused for an ungodly amount of chocolate milk.

These are the small things that bring me huge comfort. This is our home, our first home, and I love it. I wouldn’t trade my marriage with Jeremy for anything. These last five months have been absolutely blissful. The last three weeks together went by so slowly and so wonderfully! I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop or delay Jeremy from leaving, nor would I ever want to. I am proud of him, and I know he needs to be where he is. All a person can do for an upcoming departure is to take the time to appreciate, to love. And we did it well. Believe it or not, I am happy. And I thank God for Jeremy.

My prayers go out to the soldiers and their families. ♥

Brookfield Zoo

I took my niece & nephew, Maya & Zach, to the zoo! We had a ton of fun. I spoiled them to death of course. We also went to see Disney's "Up" in 3D with my Dad. It was mine and a my Dad's first time seeing a movie in 3D. The quality was incredibly great, except my right eye's stupid astigmatism made it hard to focus when there was too much movement. 3D glasses are based on angled vision from both the right and left eyes at the same time; however, my right eye cannot focus thereby leaving my left eye doing all the work. I don't think I'll be able to watch many 3D movies in the future.

Maya, age 10, at the zoo!

Zach, age 7, on the train ride!

Maya & Zach in the Primate House

Maya & Zach with a Bear!

Blog Layouts

Wedding is a go! The big countdown? 16 days until I marry Jeremy. I'm quite excited. This shindig will be quite a blast. Family is flying/driving in from all over the States for this joyous event, so I am extremely excited. I am also totally psyched to see Jeremy again as I haven't seen him since March. In fact, it is merely a week from now that he will be flying in. =)

Recently, I created new blog layouts for a couple friends. Here's a couple I did for Mike & Phil. It's very cliche, I know. But I'm pleased overall.

(Mike's header)

(background)

(background for Phil)

(header for Phil)

Zander

I spent two days this week babysitting my cousin's little wonderpooper Zander, and it was a blast. Unfortunately, as I am the youngest offspring in this household at 23, we do not own a high chair. So I made one.

As it turns out, Zander is a great fan of sand. Needless to say, after this outing we required a change of clothing.

Since Zander's pants kept sliding down, I discovered a good amount of sand on his tush. But what's the use of being a little boy if you can't get dirty once in a while?

After several hours of fun outside, Zander eases into nap mode while resting on a bench. A morning of play and nap. Who could ask for anything better?

In other perplexing and unfortunate news.... Another week, another funeral. This time for Tito Procs, who died a mere eleven days after Tito Junior. Heaven's angels are in the company of two fine gentlemen. Paalam, Tito Procs.